Poetic antidotes to systemic violence
If violence is systemic, then the solutions to violence must be systemic as well.
(Love to Mexico City Photograph by Neil Krug)
If violence is systemic, then the solutions to violence must be systemic as well. The other day I opened Twitter (when it was still cool) and saw that the drummer of Neighborhood (a band I do not know but is apparently quite famous), was fired for groping allegations from Maira Zardoya, the lead singer of the Marias. The drummer, whose name is Brandon Fried, issued a statement on Instagram:
“I am so terribly sorry María. My actions were inexcusable and intolerable. They are not reflective of who I am as a person, but clearly a reflection of who I become under the influence. It is evident that I must address my problems with alcohol and substance abuse, which I am now seeking help for,” he then added,
“I want to apologize to women who have been victims of any behavior that has left them feeling uncomfortable or violated”.
1 in 3 Brandon, 1 in 3.
The problem with this statement is that it does not address the issue in a way that is radical enough. Violators, gropers, and abusers need to understand from a deep level that the reason they do what they do is because they can, because society has legitimised them to do it for centuries. It is because of a power structure that has put men, when it comes to sexual advances and violence, in a superior position. This position allows many to act with impunity. The accountability needs to start with admitting that this power structure exists. A better statement would have read:
“I am so terribly sorry María. My actions were inexcusable and intolerable. I have been legitimised by society to behave in this way and I understand that I need to do some de-conditioning. I, like many others, feel justified to take such actions because we have never been punished, and actually we have often been glorified for them. I have work to do, and I am willing to do it. I am willing to change radically.”
Today is International Day for the elimination of all violence against women. Gender-based violence is an epidemic that is centuries old. It has no colour, class, or race; it is psychological, physical and sexual. The power dynamics that put one sex, race, or class on top of another are at the root of this systemic issue.
So, in Waves style, here are 6 poetic antidotes to the toxic narratives that feed these systemic issues.
✨Learn about love as freedom practice- Our perception of love is shaped by the systems we inhabit. The love we know is unrealistically romantic, it tells us we have no agency in how we build relationships as if everything fell from the sky. Love takes practice, and it exists in romantic relationships just as much as friendships and family bonds. The systems that perpetuate violence against women are not based on love. To define and understand love intellectually read bell hooks, Brigitte Vasallo, and Esther Perel.
✨Dance — A dancer once told me “[Dance] is also the language of healing, it is also the language of expressing, the language of telling a story”. Reclaiming Body is reclaiming the story around it. How can you insert dancing into your to-do list?
✨ Decondition softly — know that the road is long, and forgive yourself for the times when incoherence comes, and the times when ignorance will shame you. The road to change is not linear, nor is it without error. Minna Salami has great insights on this.
✨Slow down — do it for a day or an hour or half an hour. Taking time is the biggest antidote in a society based on productivity and rushing to the finish line. The Nap Ministry have some amazing insight on rest as a form of resistance.
✨Inhabit plurality — Accepting plurality requires a rejection of hierarchy, you see where I am going here? Read about the work of indigenous activists and study indigenous knowledge. The work of Aura Cumes, Nina Gualingua, and Billy Ray Belcourt can bring you to other resources. Be curious!
✨Practice pleasure- eat, masturbate, and enjoy life without feeling guilty. Adrienne Maree Brown and Venus O’Hara are incredible in spreading the art of pleasure as a political practice.
What more antidotes can you think of? Send me your thoughts if you feel!
May we live in a world where all bodies are free.
With love, V
Today’s (optional) ritual:
If you could drink freedom, what would it taste like?
I want you to make a drink that reminds you of Freedom (for me, it is a watermelon, mint and ice shake- because it reminds me of the first days of summer. Sometimes it is a herbal tea because it reminds me about slow down and going within). When you drink it, think of the word Freedom and what it means to you. How do you relate to this word?